This past weekend, I had the pleasure of watching my daughters 14U All-Star softball team compete in the Southern California State B Championship. It was an amazing weekend, and it gave me some alone time with my daughter, which I rarely if ever get. I learned what an independent little lady she has become and what and outstanding person she is growing into.
However, that wasn’t the only lesson that I learned.
To tell you the truth, I’m not sure I was really looking forward to the weekend. Being in Lancaster, CA and knowing that the temps would be anywhere from 100 to 107, wasn’t exactly what I had in mind for weekend fun. But this wasn’t for me, this was for my daughter and she and her teammates earned this, and they deserved to be recognized as one of the top 14U teams in Southern California. What they ended up proving, was far greater than any state title could afford them. They also taught me many things that I’ve forgotten in life and I need to recognize them more as an adult.
Here are a few of the lessons I learned this past weekend.
- Good teams don’t let BS get in the way too long, they figure it out quickly and squish it. Remember these are 14 yr old girls who are going through all kinds of changes mentally and physically. Drama is going to happen. However, it doesn’t last too long when the team is focused on being a team. Most of this I attribute to great coaching and good parenting. Which leads me to the next point.
- The Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. As being one of the newer parents to the team, I didn’t know the other parents very well. I’m also the only single parent, so that adds a bit of an interesting twist. But that was never a problem, in fact the respect my daughter gets from the other players and parents is awesome. All of these girls are phenomenal ladies, beyond their accolades on the field. Getting to know their parents, leads me to believe it starts at home. Great kids, with good healthy attitudes and the ability to overcome many obstacles is a direct result of loving caring parents that know a little about right from wrong. We aren’t all perfect, but these folks are sure doing a great job.
- It’s OK to lose. Not that I’m a true believer in playing for second, but sometimes the feeling of losing brings out a fire in your belly. This was for the state championship, we already qualified for Nationals, losing stinks, but beating the team we got beat by in Nationals will only make these girls hungry. Believe me when I say, these girls are very motivated to get to Nationals and win. I’d gladly lose the battle to win the war. I’d also be very nervous if I were the team we lost to. Nationals will be a different story altogether, when things are equal, I’ll take our team any day.
- Never give up. Again, great coaching and a healthy desire to be winners drove this team to the championship game. A lot of hard work went in to getting to the tournament and playing so well in it. These girls didn’t give up, and there were many close games. Each contributed to the overall success of the team. What I was more impressed with, was that each of them understands their roles very well. I never saw one girl not be excited for the other girls on the team. They each pushed each other to be better and to keep their heads held high. My daughter didn’t have the best weekend at the plate, but I never saw anyone put her down because of it. More of the opposite, they started to build her up and erupted when her bunt was solid. See lesson #2.
In all, the girls finished 2 to a good Santa Monica team. Taking nothing away from those girls, because they played their hearts out too, but I couldn’t have been prouder than to be a parent of a young lady on our team. The road to the championship was a tough one, 6 games in 100+ degree heat with only about 20 minutes or so between games. Even as a spectator the conditions were miserable. Those little women are true superhero’s in my book. I think I would have called “uncle” way before the third game, but these warriors didn’t. I never saw a lack of effort from anyone due to the heat. We all know it was tough, but I wasn’t wearing a uniform, so I can’t really know just how difficult it was.
In the end, the outcome wasn’t what we had planned. Sometimes it’s difficult to look your child in the face and know exactly the disappointment they are feeling. Believe me, I’ve experienced my own disappoints in life, and most of them are far greater than finishing second, but this one time I really wanted to take away her pain, as I realized this was probably the biggest disappointment in her life up to this moment. Trying to tell her she has only things to be proud of, falls on deaf ears. Reminding her of all the good things she did, doesn’t make up for the defeat.
I wouldn’t say that I’m an over emotional person. I don’t cry easily nor am I often at a loss for words. But for this one very moment, the only thing I could do, was stare her in the face, hug and hold her with tears in my eyes, and tell her I loved her and I was proud of her. I couldn’t stop holding her as water poured from my eyes.
What she gave me that weekend as a parent, was a gift that I won’t soon forget. This made being a parent worth every struggle and heated moment I’ve ever had.
In her lose, I felt like WE won.