It’s amazing what a difference a year can make. This time last year I was absolutely dreading the holidays. This year I was thoroughly looking forward to them. Getting rid of negativity and surrounding ones self with positive and healthy relationships is a great way to look at your life and realize that you can make positive changes in the smallest of ways that will have gigantic outcomes.
How did I do it you may ask? Here are some of the changes I made that allowed me to smile and bring myself joy and not depend on the mood of others to make myself happy.
Get Mentally Healthy
Before the Holidays started, meaning Thanksgiving, I suffered what I thought at the time was one of the worst breakups I’d ever been through. I was in an unhealthy relationship that wasn’t nurturing and filled with deceit and sabotage from people not directly involved in the relationship. Friends that called themselves friends really only had their best interest in mind.
Living with an alcoholic is tough, and I’ve found that you can’t help someone that doesn’t want help and can’t see their own problem. Worse yet, was that the people that they surround themselves with are in just as a bad spot. Keeping them drunk was easier that being a friend and helping them see that there is a problem. Once I realized I really couldn’t help, I was able to move on. However, I moved on not just from them and all their family problems, I moved on from my own depression that the alcoholism caused. I needed to love myself again, and a part of that was putting relationships that had been tarnished back together. So, I started there and built upon the fact that I am a good person and when engaged with those that care about me and not their own materialistic desires, I would be in a much better place.
Physical Health
Part of getting mentally healthy was getting my physical health back on track. Because of the unhealthy lifestyle I was living, I had put on quite a bit of weight. At Thanksgiving I was 234 pounds. I wasn’t really giving the best of me to anyone, and every time I looked in the mirror I saw a sad person whom had always struggled with their weight. The fact that I was never given encouragement, nor any motivation to be better, I started to believe that the way I was, was just the what I was meant to be.
However, I stopped that. I had a gym membership that was basically gathering dust. It wasn’t a cheap membership either, which meant I was just wasting money on something I really never intended to use. So I got my butt back into the gym and have been on a healthy track ever since. As of this writing, I weighed in at 209. That’s 25 pounds in just over a month. A huge part of that is also my diet. Cutting out booze, funny when you eliminate an alcoholic from your life how easy that is, and all other sugary crap that had been the driving force behind my ever growing belly. It was actually pretty simple to stick with when I had the motivation. I was determined to lose that beer belly, and once I started seeing results it was like an addiction. I developed a saying “Tread to Shred”, so that I would get on the treadmill everyday in order to get a minimum 30 minutes of cardo. It’s worked and now I’ve started hitting weights to burn even more fat. I do have to thank Fitbit which motivates me everyday to get my steps in and of course my family for also helping motivate me.
I use to wear size 36 pants and 2XL t-shirt. Now I’m fitting into 34 and even those are started to become baggy. I purged my closet of all my larger size clothes (36 pants and 2XL shirts), with a determination that I’d never get back to that size again. I was with someone that called themselves a “foodie”. What I’ve come to realize is that some use that term to eat without regret, but I’ve realized I can’t do that. I can enjoy food, but can’t over indulge on daily basis. Good habits everyday make up for those moments when I feel like letting loose.
Family Is Important
At one point in this journey I had started to believe my family was a cause of some of my depression. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Had I turned to those closest to me when they first started to question my decisions, I probably could have saved myself a lot of grief. They had been worried about the money I was spending, and I mean ONLY me. I was footing the bill for someone who was an opportunist, whom spent their money on themselves and their family because their family couldn’t afford their own life.
My family had questioned this and asked why all the responsibility was on me. Yes the stress of always giving giving giving was taking it’s toll on me. I was given very little in return, if anything really. I even provided others with vacations that I wasn’t even thanked for, but that was par for the course with them. Now, reconnecting with my own family has shown me that it’s not about what you give someone, it’s the time you spend with them.
All of this has brought me to where I am today. Healthy and getting healthier in every aspect of my life. I’ve re-established good relations with my friends and family and have mended a lot of broken fences. A clear mind and solid set of goals has given me something to look forward too. I’ve also developed new relationships that are nurturing and positive. It’s nice to have someone in my life that says they are proud of me and impressed with how well I treat others. It feels great to give again with no expectations of getting anything in return.
I’m happy for the first time in a long time. 2018 is going to be a great year filled with new adventures and growth.